Get To You
by Denaliyasha
Summary: You looked at him and you saw yourself. So he had to be redeemable, because otherwise, you weren't. Set post the episode with Tagman, the guy who Goren defended after he tried a lobotomy on a girl to make her never leave him. BobbyAlex


Disclaimer: Non est mine.

A/N: I have returned from the grave! Pause Well, not the GRAVE. Just the hell that is high school. Satan no longer goes to my school (too bad, too, cause he was one of my best friends) but it's still hell. And for the record, none of that has to make sense. It isn't supposed to. Anyhow, I have this story, and I have part two of You Know What They Say (yes, my patient JAG beta, I will send it to you when it's typed) and I have a chapter for several of my long stories... all in all, lots to type, lots to do, etc, etc. So! Here you go!

**Get To You**

He hadn't called her, but she was there anyway. He heard her let herself in with the key he'd given her years ago, but he didn't turn.

She found him at the window, staring out at the rain. The storm had come up out of nowhere, but it seemed to suit his mood perfectly.

"When you go with the unpopular choice, you really give it your all, huh?"

"Well, if I'm going to piss off Deakins and Carver in one fell swoop, might as well do as much as I can."

"For a man who poured scalding water onto a girl's brain, who ate part of another girl's leg muscle and then killed her?"

Then he did turn, and Alex involuntarily took a step back. "No. For a man who felt so lonely that he was willing to do those things. For a man who, while sick, never meant to kill. Am I the only one who understood that?" The last part was plaintive, his voice dropping as he turned back to the window, and Alex moved to stand beside him.

"I understood, Bobby. But that's not all of it, is it?"

He turned to her, a confused look in his dark eyes. "I don't know what you mean."

Her laugh was bitter as she followed the progress of a raindrop down the pane. "You don't, do you? And that's where I come in." She shook her head. "You looked at Tagman and saw yourself. You saw your own life, your own feelings, and you got inside his head so far that you're still there."

He took a step back, hands out as if to ward off what she was saying. "That's not true."

She grabbed his hands, pulling him to a halt. "Yes, it is, Bobby. You felt like you could understand what he did because you could do it yourself, and that scared you. Badly, because that's one of your greatest fears, isn't it, being alone? So, you had to believe he was redeemable because it gave you hope for yourself."

It was frightening sometimes, the way she understood him. Careful not to pull her off-balance, he withdrew his hands and walked into his kitchen. He could hear her following. "Did he really want anything so different than any other single person? A companion, something so simple yet so elusive."

"But a companion isn't really a companion unless they're there by choice, unless they know and accept all their partner's quirks and idiosyncrasies..." And then the light hit, and understanding dawned on her face. "That's it, isn't it, Bobby? THAT'S why you think you can become Tagman. You don't think anyone will ever love you that way!"

Pulling a beer from the fridge, Bobby laughed, but there was no humor in it. "Alex, half the department already thinks I'm nuts. I went through twelve partners in Major Cases alone before I got to you. Every single one of them thought I was crazy. Nobody understood why I sometimes trip over my words, why I stumble, why I act so fucking demanding. And guess what? Nobody cared enough to find out." He took a long drink and made as if to leave the room, but Alex's voice stopped him. Though it was barely more than a whisper, it got his attention.

"You stutter because your mind goes faster than your mouth. You stumble because you close out your surroundings to focus on the case. You're demanding because your partner reminds you who you are and keeps you from becoming the people you arrest on a daily basis." She moved across the room and put a hand on his arm. "I understand you, Bobby. I know all the annoying habits, and I know your good qualities. You are not alone, and since I'm not planning on going anywhere, you have no reason to turn into Tagman."

Bobby carefully set his bottle down on the counter and pulled Alex in for a hug. Her face pressed into his shirt, Alx could hear him whispering, "Thank you," over and over into her hair. She wrapped her arms around his waist and relaxed against him.

And as they stood there, several things happened. Bobby wrenched the last of his heart free from Tagman and gave it to the woman in his arms. Alex discovered that she was in love with her partner, for no other reason than that this incredible, genius of a man truly needed her. And outside of their bubble of awareness, the rain stopped.


End file.
